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Celebrate a Healthy Partnership
I live near the beach, where I have the pleasure of watching partners, friends, and families earnestly enjoying the company of each other. They are often holding hands, walking their dogs, surfing, playing Frisbee, laughing, conversing, or wordlessly taking in the sun and the ocean breeze, together.
To me, these are simple signs of loving relationships. I delight in the awareness of human connections, because they remind me of the joys that are found when someone makes us feel safe, listened to, secure, understood, and validated.
When these basic relationship needs are met, we are able to effortlessly develop bonds based on mutual respect, empathy, and kindness. We can grow individually and as dyads, triads, or a larger group. The important people in our lives can make us feel less alone and more unburdened, and these connections boost our happiness. Beyond that, when you spend time with people who care about you and don’t judge you or try to fix you, you can be your authentic self.
I hope your close relationships are equitable and loving. And I hope that you take the time to celebrate these vital connections often.
Sometime this week, take the time to honor the relationships with those who are closest to you.
Is Your Loyalty Harming Your Mental Health?
Your capacity to break ties could be a lifeline
Many of us have been taught—by our family, culture, religious tradition, or the popular media—that being loyal to loved ones through extreme hardship is taking the honorable, respectable path. Because what kind of person leaves a relationship when the going gets tough?
But what if the person you’re close to is always (not just sometimes) in crisis? What if your conversations are always about them?
Is it possible to be honest with yourself about what you deserve while simultaneously being loyal?
Yes! In my own life, I’ve had to choose between what I deserved and what I was experiencing. Even though it did not feel good to separate myself from a friend, I made the right choice. It takes soul searching and a lot of courage to act in alignment with your highest values.
Faculty at the School of Life, a London-based organization dedicated to helping people lead more resilient and fulfilled lives, says stepping away from someone close to you can be a very intelligent action to take.
Intimate relationships are not an endurance race. Sometimes, setting firmer boundaries or walking away is the way to commit to your own well-being and a good life.
Do you feel bound to a parent, spouse, sibling, or friend who you believe has the potential to be good, despite often acting angry, selfish, invalidating, or mean? If so, it may be time to reconsider the relationship.
This two-minute animated video demonstrates how walking away from those whose “characters have been bolted shut by trauma” is an ultimate act of self-love.
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“Nothing is more desirable than to be released from an affliction, but nothing is more frightening than to be divested of a crutch.” —James Baldwin
How to Change Bad Habits and Get Healthy Habits to Stick
Part 1 of Successful Habit Formation
Even when we intellectually know that a relationship is toxic or a habit is taking us in the wrong direction, it can be difficult to let go. Sound familiar?
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Most of us have fallen into negative habits at one time or another. And many of us have tried starting new habits. If you’re like most people, some have never really stuck. What are your current habit-change challenges? Maybe you want to stop snacking after dinnertime. Or perhaps you want to exercise more often.
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Whether you want to stop doing something that no longer serves you, or get started with a new and more helpful routine, you can make lasting change.
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Check out the first post of my two-part series on cultivating the healthy, intentional living habits of your choice. In this post, you’ll get my tips for how to adopt habit-formation strategies that work.
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Does Poor Sleep Make You Vulnerable to Binge-Eating?
Evidence shows that getting enough sleep may prevent urges to binge eat
More than 60 percent of adults and kids don’t sleep enough. Research shows that inadequate sleep can cause a wide range of problems, including a decrease in immune system function, the inability to make effective decisions, a higher risk of car accidents, difficulty learning, and anxiety.
What many of us may not realize is that sleep also impacts hunger and fullness cues, cravings, and our metabolism.
And not getting enough sleep can therefore lead to binge eating behaviors and binge eating disorder, research suggests.
Fortunately, getting adequate sleep is one risk factor you can adjust to reduce your susceptibility to binge eating. Start by taking a look at your bedtime routine, and implement changes to establish good sleep hygiene. Not sure what that includes?
Download and read my full article to learn tips for getting a good night’s sleep and starting each day well rested. You’ll be glad you did!
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