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Relationships

The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives… The strongest protective factors against hardship are our relationships. I believe that human connection has transformative power in all aspects of our lives.” —Esther Perel

Every relationship is different, and every relationship changes with time. However, what doesn’t seem to waver is that humans are meant to be connected.

An 80-year study conducted by Harvard Medical School revealed that close relationships do more than make us feel good—they are predictors of long and happy lives, even more so than genes, IQ, or social class. Moreover, satisfying, warm, supportive relationships help to delay mental and physical decline, and shield people from the negative impact of life’s inevitable challenges.

When it comes to the breadth, depth, duration, and quality of your bonds with others, relationship counseling is one of the wisest investments you can make. Because the cost of not investing in your relationship can be high. Other studies have shown that loneliness can kill; it is as bad for your health as alcoholism or smoking. Learning how to make a relationship better has positive consequences for not just you but those around you as well.

Our desire to connect with others and to belong is universal, fundamental, and hard-wired. When those bonds are thin or break, we struggle. Whether your relationship struggles are with a parent, intimate partner, sibling, friend, coworker, mentor, or anyone else you hold dear, therapy can help you learn the language of intimacy and practice how to communicate better in a relationship.

Think of me as a psychologist and relationship coach, using both challenge and empathy to guide you to enhanced satisfaction in your relationships. Couples’ counseling or family therapy can offer a safe space to engage in cooperative problem-solving, create new avenues of intimacy, and get out of unhealthy or unsatisfying patterns. We’ll look at the discrepancy between your relationship as it is now and where you want it to be.

“The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships have a powerful influence on our health… Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too. That, I think, is the revelation.” -—Robert Waldinger, psychiatrist and professor at Harvard Medical School

You might benefit from relationship therapy if you answer yes to some of these
common problem areas:

  • Do your relationships lack the amount of closeness you desire?
  • Has a life transition led to a new role that is causing difficulty in an important relationship?  
  • Do you frequently feel lonely or isolated?
  • Is an issue so large that you are considering ending a relationship?
  • Are you having trouble syncing expectations with important others? 
  • Do you have difficulty resolving conflicts well?
  • Do you rarely feel supported?
  • Are you dealing with gaslighting or manipulation as part of a cycle of emotional abuse?
  • Are you wondering how to get out of an abusive relationship?
  • Is grief or a significant loss interfering with your ability to reestablish connections?
  • Is sex a problem in your relationship?
  • Do you have a hard time treating others with kindness, even when you disagree?
  • Do you find that you are drawn to toxic relationships? 
  • Do you have trouble setting boundaries?
  • Is learning how to improve communication in a relationship something you are willing to make a priority?
  • Is giving and receiving empathy difficult for you?

 

If you want to learn better relationship skills, repair a relationship you’re in, or delve into other areas of relationship health, reach out for an appointment. In some cases, your therapy goal may be ending a relationship. We can work toward what is healthiest for you. 

No matter where you are now, it’s possible to learn to cultivate more meaningful and lasting relationships with others. 

“We are social mammals and could never have survived without deeply interconnected and interdependent human contact.” —Bruce Perry

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